Scars and Wrinkles

     Scars...as children we got them because we lived carefree lives. We left the worrying to our parents who in return got wrinkles. Sure, the scars were painful when the occurrences happened initially but we survived so there was no need to harp about the pain. We just told people how awesome or disgusting it was when we got them. And wrinkles...as children wrinkles were not something we thought often about. But when we did it was in a "that's never going to happen to me" in a type of way. But man things change as we get older...

     The scars that we received throughout life suddenly give us a right to carry around the hurt instead of letting it go. And wrinkles...instead of not wanting them or thinking that we are untouchable and will never get them...we are counting a new one every day. In addition, we do our best to hide our painful reminders of our hurts and try to cover up those wrinkles with Botox and makeup. But why do we do this? Why is there is sudden shift from childhood to adulthood. Why are scars and wrinkles something we all the sudden try to hide or ignore the fact that they are happening to us?

     Just this past November my youngest son had a craniotomy done. The months before in the waiting were so painful that my body and mind ached wondering if our son was going to make it and be ok. Also, those words lingered in the back in my mind, "what if it's cancer?" It was such a scary time for our family! The whole day was like grinding teeth on chalk! But when we saw the doctor after it was all said and done and he said the amazing words of, "your son did great, we got it all, and we don't think it's cancer" I could have kissed him. Gotten arrested...yes! But I could have! I didn't though. I'm sure he was thankful for my restraint.

     Our son was suppose to be in the ICU one night and then in another hospital room for three additional nights. Well, the first night he was in the ICU he was up trying to play with trains on the floor, eating turkey, and wanting to take multiple trips in the wagon that they had. The nurses honestly didn't know what to do with him. The next morning the plastic surgeon came in and the first thing my son said was, "I want pancakes!" The doc said, "well, you be sure to tell the nurse that." Needless to say, our youngest got to eat pancakes and go home the day after surgery. 

     The doctors and nurses were just amazed at how well he was doing. So, well that day two home from the hospital he gave everyone a look at all of his "tricks" and did a flip on the floor head first and about gave everyone a heart attack. By day four he had his little guitar and was singing, "Rudold the Red Nose Reindeer!" Our son was back to normal in no time and no one could tell that he had surgery...except for the stitches from ear to ear on the top of his head...that would eventually become... a scar. 

     Scars...they mean something different to me now in my adult life. They are not something to hide or be ashamed of. They are not something to use to make me focus on all of the pain I've been through or a family member has been through. They are to remind me that "I'm alive!" Our son is ALIVE! I'm reminded of the window of my sons ICU room that read "With God All Things Are Possible!" 

     Scars aren't something to run from but run too in order to remind us of God's faithfulness. Even if I did get a few more wrinkles in the process it doesn't matter. God is faithful! Just recently I had a conversation via text with a friend of mine and we were discussing how hard of a year it had been. My friend mentioned how much the year had taken its toll on her...so much so that she could tell it aged her. 

     First, of all I told her that she was beautiful! That no matter how much the hard times on this earth aged her she would still be beauty! Secondly, I told her that I was just thinking about scars and wrinkles...how they are not just there to simply be...but they are battle wombs pointing people to our Savior...not a bad thing!

      No matter what hardships come our way...God is still faithful!!! Through all of our teardrops, wrinkles, open wounds, scars, pain, and pleasures...God is still faithful! He always provides what we need even if it hurts! Our scars and wrinkles shouldn't be something that we try to hide but that we wear as trophies to say "look what my God has done!" Even if God doesn't pull through the way that we expect Him to, He always does! We have to remember that there is an enemy out there doing all kinds of nasty tricks to try to bring death in any way shape or form that he can in our lives...we have to continue to lean into the Life giver...our Healer...our only Satisfier....Jesus!!!

Seeing that we are entering into a new year...don't forget all that He has done in 2015. I don't know how hard your year has been but you are still here...you are alive!!! The devil didn't get you on your worse day! God is still good! For this new year...the year 2016...learn to embrace the ugly so that people can see a God who is faithful even in the nastiest, scariest parts of our lives! He never leaves! He's always there!!!

http://youtu.be/XW048usZch4

Tiffany 

I want you!

      My youngest son has always been a momma's boy...I mean a hard core momma's boy! When he was much younger I found it to weigh on me heavily. Most days whenever my husband would come home from work I would want to shake my son off of my leg as fast as I could and run out the door. Whenever we had friends and family around often times they found my son to be annoying because he would scream if I wasn't around. Now, I'm not just saying he did the "oh, ever child screams," scream. The kid hits decibels I've never heard before. Seriously, I better get some American Idol time out of this kid with all of the mess he put my ears though. Needless to say, I was hoping that he would grow up and grow out of the mommy phase some day.

      Well, he is four now and he has grown up in so many ways. He doesn't scream as much as he use to which is a major plus or spit down his face any more as babies often do. But he still wants his momma. Now, it's not so much that he needs to have his momma or he is going to freak out...it's much more healthier then that. I can just tell that he just wants me around. He wants me at his side doing life with him.

      The other day we were at the Apple Store--luckily I made an appointment and I wasn't there for two hours--but I sat my son down at one of the computers to watch cartoons. After the gentleman had helped me I forgot to ask him a question, so I stepped away at a safe distance from my son to grab the man and ask him. I told my son what I was doing and where I would be but I watched his face after I stepped away and he couldn't see my exact location.

      I could see the confusion on his face. His mommy radar was on and he was scanning all around. I waved my hands and shouted his name. Once his eyes caught mine he smiled from ear to ear and shouted, "Mommy!" He jumped off the stool and ran to my open arms. He was full of happiness and gave me a huge hug. I felt like we were in a movie because people were starring and smiling as if we were the only ones in the room. I was honestly waiting for them to clap because they were so into the moment with us.

      My son looked at me and said, "I just want to be with you." In that moment I was no longer annoyed that my son wanted me as much as he did and does daily. I am doing my best to soak up these moments as long as I can get them! I know now that when Him and my oldest son want to be around my husband and I, it's not to drive us to the point to want to shake them off our legs. They just want us to be apart of their lives. They want us to be their Princess Leia and Han Solo to their Star Wars story. They want us to be the other two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and kick "bad guy butts!"  They long to spend time with us. They just want to be where we are!

      The Lord showed me so much through all of this...that He wants us to be like my children...loving Him enough to want Him to be apart of every single moment of our lives. He wants our "God" radar on constantly looking for Him in every single situation. God wants to be with us and He desires  us to want to be with Him, as our sons long to be with my husband and I. Oh, how I long to have this kind of child like love towards my Heavenly Father! Children can teach us so much! I'm learning that more than ever...I just want to be with HIM!!!
   

CAN I TRUST YOU?

You sat in the darkness with void all around but the darkness did not phase You. With one sentence everything changed—light burst forth from Your mouth and pierced the darkness. The beginning of creation began. So, why is there this lingering question in my mind…

Can I trust You?

The stars hang in the sky far above at Your command and their names are not hidden from You. They twinkle; they dazzle, and create a joyful dance for Your glory alone. At the sound of Your voice they remain steady or die in Your presence being no more. So, why do I doubt You in this life and wonder…

Can I trust You?

The endless stars above that are close to You and the grains of sand beneath the crashing waves far below You, are representations of the children You called forth through one man. All would be blessed through Your hands and that is a promise well kept. It doesn’t make any since that I question Your integrity and think to myself…

Can I trust You?

“The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” You are aware of the number of hairs on my head even if one falls out. You know the sum of all of my tears and put them in a bottle. You know the amount of my days and even though they are fleeting You are with me any way. I know these truths and I hate when the question makes its way into my mind…

Can I trust You?

I came to this earth with nothing and I will leave with nothing. I do not know why this truth surprises me and creates anger within me, because I know it to be true. I did not bring myself here to this earth and I will not take myself home. Why oh why, do I hold so tight to things that weren’t even mine in the first place and wonder…

Can I trust You?

Why does this question, this doubt rise so often within me when I face situations in this vapor of a life? Why do I constantly run to other things to put my trust in, that will exist no more once Your Son comes back to fight for His Bride? God, You have always been, You are, and forever You will be. You’re the only One I can trust through it all. I will do my best to set aside this dreadful question…

Can I trust You?

…And replace it with…

HOW CAN I NOT TRUST YOU?

 

https://youtu.be/QVEIhhhPxpI

*Genesis 1:1-3, Psalm 174: 4, Genesis 22:11, Job 33:4, Luke 12: 7, Psalm 56:8, Job 1:21, Revelation 1: 8

PARENT TRAP

     I remember my first born son as a wobbly, chunky, slobbering baby who stood up to conquer one of the major milestones in his life…walking. As a parent I was both excited and frightened. I wanted him to walk but at the same time I didn’t want him to fall. My first initial thought was to stand right next to him so that when he did fall over I could catch him and keep him safe from the physical and emotional pains of failure. But I knew that if I did that, then he would never learn how to walk on his own…he would never grow. So, instead I let him fall…and when he did, I was there to sweep him up in my arms to comfort him and dry his tears.

     As a parent I long to keep my children safe from pain and to give them everything in their life they desire to make them comfortable, but I know that it doesn’t do them any good. If I continued to feed them bottles, give them everything they ask for, carried them everywhere we went so that they would never have to do anything for themselves…not only would they become spoiled little brats but also they would never become all that God desires them to be. I would be stunting their growth in every way: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They may kick, scream, and throw tantrums to get what they want but as a parent it is important to stay strong and give them only what they need instead of what they always want…even if it means they become angry at you.

     As a Christian it is easy to get angry and blame God for everything in our lives. We get mad because we pray for things to happen in our approved ways and when things are not answered to our liking we kick, we scream, and throw our tantrums to get what we want...even though it doesn’t do any good. I know these moments must be so hard for God because I know that they are hard for me when I deny my children of something that will provide them comfort or enjoyment even. But I also know that God knows better than we do.

     If God gave us everything that we wanted not only would it make us ungrateful, spoiled little brats but the thing that we may want, might not be the right things that we need. God knows what we need even more than I know what my children need. He sees the very depths of us and knows the outcome of our prayers. Also, if He did everything for us then we would never grow. Sometimes we need to walk through things on our own in order to grow, with Him by our side to dry our tears and comfort us after we fall.

     Instead of blaming God and remaining angry towards Him, it is vital to trust God to be the good Father that He truly is in our lives. He knows what we need to survive even before we ask and He knows what we need to thrive. Even if things happen that truly hurt…there is purpose in the pain and He never wastes our pain. When we put our full trust in Him it is hard sometimes to thinks that what He does is good, but ultimately He knows the outcomes…and honestly He really does have our best interest at heart. HE IS A GOOD, GOOD FATHER!!!

Matthew 7: 9-11, “What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”

https://youtu.be/mBwXHpKVS5I

Because with out Him, there is nothing else,
Tiffany Wasson

Changing “worrier” to “WARRIOR”!

      Guilt, shame, regret, and fear reigned in the hearts of Adam and Eve as soon as they partook in the forbidden fruit. They did their best to hide their sin and hide from God by finding near by trees. Although, they could not hide…their God, their creator, and their companion could not be fooled. He knew exactly what they did. Once that happened all creation was torn, broken, and different then what they were originally created for. But even all the way back in Genesis God gives a glimpse of Jesus… the bridge between God and His creations. He was to bring hope for all mankind, make all things new, and take away fear and worry for good.

     In the reveal of Jesus in Genesis, God didn’t portray Jesus as this wimp that was just going to roll over and die. He gave a glimpse of his true nature in Genesis 3…HE is a mighty warrior. Genesis 3: 15 reveals, “I will put hostility between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel.” Some translations even say, “crush your head.” I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t even go near a snake if I saw it. I would scream like a little girl and probably get bit any way because I screamed and startled the snake. But Genesis reveals that Jesus goes towards the snake. He isn’t afraid.

     Even when Satan temps Jesus in the desert He is not fazed. Satan tries to tempt Him with all sorts of things while Jesus is desperate for much needed water and food. But Jesus doesn’t give in and lastly commands in Matthew 4:10, “Go away, Satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve only Him.” Jesus was also bold declaring that He was the Son of God regardless of the doubt that surrounding Him. He has one of the greatest “Drop the mic moments in history”when he read from Isaiah 61. In Luke 4: 16-20…

“He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up. As usual, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath day and stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to Him, and unrolling the scroll, He found the place where it was written:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on Me,

because He has anointed Me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent Me

to proclaim freedom to the captives

and recovery of sight to the blind,

to set free the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

He then rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. And the eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fixed on Him. He began by saying to them, “Today as you listen, this Scripture has been fulfilled.”’

     Jesus knew who He was and He wasn’t afraid to show it…even to the point of handing himself over the officials to be crucified in order to fulfill scripture to further prove He was who He said He was. Jesus was fierce. He was beaten, bruised, and tortured beyond recognition for the love of all generations. Those that mocked Him thought He was weak because He would not bring himself down from the cross. Even one that hung next to him shouted at Him in Luke 29: 39, “Then one of the criminals hanging there began to yell insults at Him: "Aren't You the Messiah? Save Yourself and us!" BUT Jesus wasn’t weak and not even death could hold Him down! 1 Corinthians 15: 54 reveals that “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

     I could go on and on at how amazingly strong Jesus is but my favorite reveal is found in Revelation 19. Jesus will be back again to make all things right and it won’t be in some humble way either…

REVELATION 19: 11-16, “Then I saw heaven opened, and there was a white horse. Its rider is called Faithful and True, and He judges and makes war in righteousness. His eyes were like a fiery flame, and many crowns were on His head. He had a name written that no one knows except Himself. He wore a robe stained with blood, and His name is the Word of God. The armies that were in heaven followed Him on white horses, wearing pure white linen. A sharp sword came from His mouth, so that He might strike the nations with it. He will shepherd them with an iron scepter. He will also trample the winepress of the fierce anger of God, the Almighty. And He has a name written on His robe and on His thigh:

KING OF KINGS

AND LORD OF LORDS.

     Regardless of what people think…Jesus is not a wimp! He has never worried. He has always known who He is….JESUS IS A WARRIOR and He calls us to be the same. He calls us to be tapped into the spirit within us. Romans 8: 11 tells us, “And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, then He who raised Christ from the dead will also bring your mortal bodies to life through His Spirit who lives in you.” He doesn’t want us to worry. He wants us to trust Him with everything. He is our vindicator and we are victorious through Him. 1 Corinthians 15: 57 reveals, “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!”

     This past year I have had a HUGE battle with anxiety…even to the point of not feeling as if I would ever be set free from it and that I would always deal with it. Through this struggle I had forgotten who Jesus is and who I am IN HIM. Lately the Lord has been really put on my heart to look to Him as the WARRIOR HE IS and the WARRIOR I am because of HIM IN ME. Yes, I am human and I am tempted constantly to worry because my mind wonders about millions of “WHAT IF’S”. BUT GOD is slowly changing my mindset. I am starting to see Jesus more and more in His Victorious state. When I have these weak moments I do my best to look at the end of the story. JESUS ON HIS WHITE HORSE COMING IN VICTORY! HE is a WARRIOR and HE LIVES IN ME. If you know Him and HE LIVES IN YOU…YOU ARE A WARRIOR TOO! Let’s do our best to tap into the WARRIOR side of ourselves instead of the wimpy “worrier” side. JESUS WILL HELP US…HE IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE!

 https://youtu.be/CCEtqL7HTZQ

TIFFANY

I'M DOING FINE WITH OUT YOU

I’M DOING FINE WITH OUT YOU

BY: Tiffany Wasson

September 30, 2015

I remember sitting within a cage inside my mind.

When you tried to convince me I had to stay within this bind.

You did your best throwing relentless darts at every side.

Chains wrapped around me, I had no fight left inside.

I believed that this was my life and forever I would stay.

You tried your best to convince me that there was no other way.

You lied to me, but to me it seemed like nothing but the truth.

You wicked wolf hiding within sheep skin steeling away my youth…

When God was my Warrior fighting for me all the more

The Holy Spirit spoke more loudly, the truth to my core.

When Jesus became everything and rescued me mightily.

I was unstoppable with the light inside shinning brightly.

I thought that I was lost and never again would I return.

But once again I am set free and for Him I will forever yearn.

See, God has brought me back with all His power and His grace.

Now, I long for His love even more and to rest in His embrace.

Devil you thought that you had me, and thought you had won.

But Jesus came to earth and He made sure that ALL was done.

Standing over you, lifting His leg, indeed He crushed your head.

To send you back to hell with all of the other spiritually dead.

See, Satan you belong in that home where you will forever stay.

So, you might as well just move on and go back to hell today.

The Savior is in my sight and He keeps me safe from your spear.
Satan you no longer phase me, and honestly, I’m doing fine with out you…here.

When God Calls a CONTROL FREAK!

     My youngest son has a lot of favorite things in his four year old life such as Spider-Man, cookies, and thankfully one of my favorites...Wizard of Oz. One thing that seems to trump all of his favorites lately though is playing hide-n-go seek. Now, I'm not talking about your typical game of hide-go-seeking where one person counts and the other person hides wherever they want. His version of gaming goes something like this, "Mom, you go in my room and count to ten and I will go hide in your bed, then you will come get me, OK!"

     When he goes and counts and it's my turn to hide he says the same thing but in reverse of course. Now, being that it's hard for me to follow his rules because I like to hide in my own places...I usually hide somewhere else so that I can surprise him or scare him (yes, I like to scare my kids because it's fun don't judge me). When my youngest finally finds me in my rebel place or I jump out at him to scare him he gets so furious when I'm not in the place he told me to hide.

     Today when I was playing this game with my son the Lord gave me a gentle nudge that I am the exact way with Him. See, when I'm hiding from my son I know where I am. I have a plan of when I want to jump out at him or make him smile with my "surprise" and see his smile go from ear to ear and hear his laughter fill the empty spaces of the room and my heart. Oh how I delight in my child's laughter. 

     Now, I'm not saying that the Lord wants to jump out and scare us but I do think that He wants us to trust Him with the things we can't see. My desire is to tell the Lord, "Ok, Lord I've trusted you now I want you to do this this way, that that way, and show up here with nothing out of line of how I told you to do it." Yeah, I know pretty bold of me or stupid...not sure which but silly none the less because we know we can't tell the Lord to do anything. But I desire this kind of control...even more so when I step out in faith.

     Ever since I put a down payment on the publishing package and submitted my manuscript yesterday I've been freaking out inside because I am literally not in control of the process and what the Lord does with it from here. I don't know exactly who is looking at it, what they will think, and if I will have to re-write the whole book because it needs work and that freaks me out. It makes me scared and a little frustrated to be honest.

     Furthermore, I don't get to know where it will go from here, how God will use it, if He will use it, and the list goes on. Everything in me wants to know what the Lord has hiding around the corners. I know where I want Him to be and how I want everything to pan out...but I don't know...only He knows. But I'm learning the beauty of it all.  That even when I don't know...He has already been where I am going...and even if I'm searching in the wrong direction He will be there to shout "surprise" and hopefully it will be me smiling from ear to ear and Him delighting in His child's laughter! I'm trying to rest in that...that He is in control and He has my best interest in mind...which is really hard for a control freak.

      There was someone in the bible that had to see everything before He trusted the Lord and his name  was given a great meaning behind it "doubting Thomas."

John 20: 24-29 reveals, "But one of the Twelve, Thomas (called “Twin”), was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples kept telling him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “If I don’t see the mark of the nails in His hands, put my finger into the mark of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will never believe!” After eight days His disciples were indoors again, and Thomas was with them. Even though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them. He said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and observe My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Don’t be an unbeliever, but a believer.” Thomas responded to Him, “My Lord and my God!”Jesus said, “Because you have seen Me, you have believed. Those who believe without seeing are blessed.”

     I want with all of my heart to trust the Lord and His plans for me. I'm not going to lie...it is hard sometimes! But He has never given me a reason to not trust Him. Do you find yourself doubting God because of a rough time? Are you nervous because you have put yourself completely out there and you are vulnerable? Friend, just keep the faith in Him. Don't be a doubting Thomas and want to control the situation. Just trust Him. One of the most beautiful quotes I've ever heard goes something like this, "if the Lord wants something to happen it will, if He doesn't it won't, don't try to control the situation...just rest and be faithful." I think that's how it went...I know it's not exact but it's so true! The Lord our faithful Father and we can trust Him! He's such a "good Father!"



http://youtu.be/djrY_eFDOwE

Tiffany