The gift instead of the GIVER!!!

            In this generation of Christians there is something very scary occurring and most of us do not even realize it! The only reason I have noticed it because it is something within myself that I have been dealing with for the past 12 years; a journey that has caused a lump in my throat and caused me to be knocked down further than I want to admit. The journey that I have been on has been like a towel being rung out with filth to which I thought were all good things, but it turns out it was just filth. The things that I thought overflowed from my heart have turned out to be selfish ambition, greed, and hate instead of self-abandonment, giving, and love. My journey started when I was just 16. I know that is a long time ago so please stick with me I will make this a quick version…

            I was a 16 year old girl who had a major heart for God. I was willing to do anything to serve His people which included cleaning a Christian Radio Station for just $60 a week for gas money just to make it there to minister! I didn’t care how little or how much I had I just wanted to reach people for Christ because my love for Him was so deep! I would have visions and dreams of reaching LARGE amounts for Him. Not too long after that I began to not only clean the station but I also was able to go on the air…ME…a 16 year old kid. I went from being on Saturday afternoons, to Monday-Friday’s in the evening, to drive time from 3-6 every afternoon; a 16 year old ministering to the masses. I was thrilled to be used by God in this way!

            Over the years I was able to be a part of this ministry in more ways than one. Unfortunately, I had to leave because of being married into the military. I loved my husband very much and loved where we were but God had different plans for us. We had to pack up our house and move to Charleston, SC. Slowly, the heart I had for God grew cold because I was angry at Him. I didn’t admit this until about a week ago when my husband and I were having a deep conversation about where we were now and the entire plan that we think God has in store for us. I realized in our conversation that…I HAVE BEEN ANGRY AT GOD. I was having such a hard time admitting this fact! Once I admitted this I was so shameful that for the past 6 years, from the time that we left the station, I have lived in a way. Through, our moments of finding a church, praying, and having children my life has been lived in vain. OUCH!

…I had been seeking the gift instead of the GIVER!

            I wanted ministry! I wanted to set the captives free, heal the sick, raise the dead, and bring people to their knees for Jesus. Instead I went from ministering to the masses to cleaning dirty diapers and being home ALL THE TIME! I longed so much to be in a place that I could minister again. Through these feelings I turned into an out of control mom. I became the easily frustrated, emotionally unstable, and ready to burst mom instead of the patient, loving, and kind mom that every child needs and desires. I BECAME COLD!

            In our deep conversation last week on our date after seeing, “God’s Not Dead,” the tears started to pour down my face resembling a waterfall. My husband wasn’t sure what to say. He just stared at me and said, “You say that you are ok with where you are but you continue to ask God why aren’t you using me like you showed me You would? You have to learn to be truly happy with where you are first. Don’t you think that preparation comes before He reveals the good works that He wants us to do.” Well, thanks YODA…lol! But in all seriousness he was right! I just sat there for a second and said, “I AM SO MAD AT GOD!” I shocked myself as I admitted this fact. Over the years I just said, “I am ok with where I am, I love You God no matter what, and where I am God use me!” I would say these things so empty. My words were such a lie.  In the moment of my truth telling, I felt SO MUCH BETTER! I finally let it out and let it go to the most important person to me on this earth. Then I realized a deeper issue in all Christians today…

            We get to a point that instead of seeing the GIVER, we seek the gift! Ministry is a gift because He chooses to let us be a part of His amazing plan and lets us see it firsthand. However, ministry should not be our primary concern. You may be thinking, “Tiffany, what do you mean because without ministry we cannot reach people for Jesus and that is what He calls us to do.” YES, you are so right my friend. BUT we cannot do ministry without the GIVER! We cannot reach people for HIM without the source…HIM! We need all of Him and He needs ALL of us! We need to seek HIM and HIS LOVE instead of what He and HIS love can offer!

1 Corinthians 13:1-3,

            “If I speak the languages of men and of angels but do not have love, I am a sounding gong or a clanging symbol. If I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so that I can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

            “But Tiffany this doesn’t apply to GOD! This scripture I have read this pertaining to loving people, and heard it read at weddings. How does this apply to God?” My friend I am so glad that you asked that question!

1 John 4: 8, “The one who does not love does not know God, because God is LOVE.”

            GOD IS LOVE! If God is love and we do not spend time with HIM, stir our affections for HIM, then what is the point of ministry!? We have been so consumed with bigger churches, ministering to the masses, coming up with crafty speeches to be the best message ever, and coming up with the next best drama that we have forgotten the most important part of all….FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE! Now, I can say this with all confidence because shamefully, I have been the person to do all of these! I have wanted more of HIS ministry, HIS GIFT of ministry that my heart grew cold towards JUST LOVING HIM!

            NONE of it makes sense without HIM. Church we have to come to a place that we just LOVE HIM with everything and let HIM DO THE REST! When we die all of this will pass away! ALL OF IT BUT HIS LOVE! His love for us and His love for others! The whole point of HIS story is to change HIS-TORY with HIS LOVE! He will not give up until HE has all of us…every single piece of us and all of that starts with our HEARTS! If we will just LOVE HIM others will fall at HIS feet, and everything will fall into place!

John 15: 4-11, “⁴ Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me.

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me. ⁶ If anyone does not remain in Me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷ If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you. ⁸ My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be My disciples.

Christlike Love

⁹ “As the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you. Remain in My love. ¹⁰ If you keep My commands you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love.

¹¹ “I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.

GREATEST COMMANDMENT:

LUKE 10:27, “He answered, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

LOVE HIM CHURCH with EVERYTHING! Let us continue to give HIM our hearts and not our deeds first! Quit striving to be the BEST but LOVE HIM THE MOST!

AS for me where I am today, I am a working progress…but I have started to completely surrender EVERYTHING; laying down my heart for HIM, LOVING HIM and our house is doing the same!

Joshua 24: 15, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

DO the same CHURCH…HOLDING NOTHING FROM HIM! 

He won’t relent until HE HAS IT ALL ANY WAY...WHY MAKE HIM FIGHT FOR IT?!!!

http://youtu.be/gEJnePjJZaM

Life isn't always so EXCELLENT!

            We have all heard the saying, “When it rains it pours!” Whoever, came up with that saying sometimes I just want to punch them in the face…lets be real! Because of them when it rains in my life circumstances, I am automatically waiting for the pouring waters to begin OR to think of that stupid saying when everything starts to happen at once! THANKS JERK! I woke up this morning like I always do, my husband shaking me to wake up so that I can get out of bed before the kids do to read my bible. Side note: Thanks babe for always doing this for your “not so morning person in the house.” I get downstairs to my already made coffee: Thanks again BABE! Then before my AWESOME husband leaves the house he says, “Oh, did you read the email from our renters, they are leaving the house in June.” BOOM! In the face like a snowball coming at me unexpectedly painfully waking me up with its coldness! I automatically think… “When it rains it pours.” Now, let me remind you, before that moment I didn’t think about the two sons that have been battling allergies and pink eye, my husband who has been working 5/12’s and now 6/12’s for the past two months, my pulled groin that keeps me from working out this week when fitness is my passion and not to mention my job. BUT there was something about that “ONE MORE THING” that sent me over the edge and made me think of that stupid quote; which then, made me remember everything bad that is going on at the same time! I shed maybe two or three tears, grabbed my coffee, and sat down with the LORD.

            I began to read out of our Philippians study and it so happens that I personally was on chapter 4. I was quickly reminded how awesome God’s timing really is and through my “few tears” of “Jesus why is this happening and MOURNING” they quickly turned into “Tears of Joy coupled with THANKSGIVING.” Read for yourself and you will see what I mean…

Philippians 4:6-8, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything through prayer, and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral EXCELLENCE and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.”

If you think that isn’t enough I went on to read…

Philippians 4: 12-13, “I know both how to have little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances, I have learned the secret of being content—whether well-fed or hungry, weather in abundance or need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

Then He gently reminds me of…

Colossians 1:16, “For everything was created by Him, in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-- all things have been created through Him and for Him.”

AND last but not least…

Isaiah 55:8-9, ““For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways.” This is the Lord’s declaration. For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Matthew 6:28-30, “25 “This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? 27 Can any of you add a single cubit to his height[a] by worrying? 28 And why do you worry about clothes? Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don’t labor or spin thread. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! 30 If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t He do much more for you—you of little faith? 31 So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32 For the idolaters[b] eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God[c] and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.”

            In that moment the Lord quickly reminded me that EVERYTHING that I “THINK” I have really isn’t mine in the first place! I may have a home that renters are in and be a manager of that home, but it isn’t MINE. I may have major blessings in children and “MY KIDS” are sick but they are not MINE. I may have a body that fails me on a daily basis and have passions but this body isn’t MINE nor should it be my HIGHEST passion or concern to take care of. You see, EVERYTHING IS HIS! When we realize that EVERYTHING is His and not ours we start to STOP worrying so much when the rain comes! We stop thinking, “Oh great, here comes the rain, and when it does we all know, “WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS.”’ Instead we start to think and realize, “The rain may come, and it may pour, but I know the ONE who controls the rain!” When we can rest in this TRUTH, when we can be in such rhythm with God and HIS heartbeat, THEN we will have PEACE even when the pouring rain comes. THEN we will continue to not let our faith be SHAKEN…even if it is a little bit stirred sometimes…BUT NEVER SHAKEN!

Hebrews 12:28, “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us hold on to grace. By it, we may serve God acceptably, with reverence and awe,”

            Spend time with and trust in the ONE that everything belongs too! For nothing is ours, EVERYTHING is HIS and HE’S got everything under control...THE EXCELLENT AND THE NOT SO EXCELLENT!!! THIS LIFE IS NOT OUR OWN! NOTHING BELONGS TO US! OUR HOPE IS THE ONE WHO IS ETERNAL!!! In this is my hope…for this is the only thing in that is TRULY EXCELLENT! 

***Just a Carcass***

     I know it is weird to have a heading titled “Just a carcass” but trust me this makes sense! A couple of days ago I was driving and I saw a dead animal approaching and I couldn't stop myself from looking at the animal…looking away…looking at the animal…looking away. There was something about it that made me want to see how bad the hit really was….SICK I KNOW! But I felt bad for the animal and couldn't help but stare at the pain….I have to say it was pretty gross. Then as I approached the animal, got one more glance, and turned away…the Holy Spirit spoke to me! He said to me to “be careful that we do not treat people this way.” The first thought of these words in my mind it didn't really make sense but over the past couple of days it has really sunk in A LOT!

     You see when people are hurting, lost, need support, or whatever the case may be,  a lot of times as Christians we look at these people…look away…look at these people…look away. We think to ourselves…man that looks bad…”I will pray for you” and then keep on driving. We don’t think for a second to stop for these people to actually make sure they are “still breathing” and try to fulfill the need that may be at hand. Instead we just use the “I will pray for you bit.” Now, I am not saying that prayer is a bad thing…it is the most powerful thing that we can do as Christians. BUT this is not where Jesus wants us to stop! He uses us to encourage those around us, fulfill their needs, and to the point that no one is in need! He states this clearly in so many different ways throughout the scriptures. However, the one that sticks out to me the most to me at this moment and sums it up clearly is found in 1 John 3: 16-20.

1 John 3: 16-20, “¹⁶ This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. ¹⁷ If anyone has this world’s goods and sees his brother in need but closes his eyes to his need—how can God’s love reside in him?

¹⁸ Little children, we must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action. ¹⁹ This is how we will know we belong to the truth and will convince our conscience in His presence, ²⁰ even if our conscience condemns us, that God is greater than our conscience, and He knows all things.”

     Talk about some harsh words! As Christians we have to do a better job at seeking to help those around us! WE can’t look at people as carcasses on the side of the road and say…”OOOhhhh, that looks bad, someone should take care of that!” WE need to start taking responsibilities for ourselves and others! People and their problems are not just here for our entertainment. Let us be the tools that God uses to change the world one person at a time by not being hypocritical but truly being the “Children of Light” He calls us to be!